Feeling defeated and alone, maybe thinking that writing it down can help it go away My mom told me last week, “If you’re feeling down, just try and watch your favorite thing on YouTube, or watch a funny show to make you feel better, okay?” Sometimes this is sound advice, especially when you spend many… Continue reading Untitled Rambling May 31st
Author: Cynthia J.
What breathes life into you? Mine is: My son’s two tooth grin The rustling of sheets when he’s crawling towards me to wake me up The bing of a text message back when you have found another layer beneath rock bottom Words coming together when you have misplaced yourself in the pile of dirty laundry… Continue reading elixir
How the people we’ve lost still move through us.
My Lolo died when I was three. If anyone ever asked me if it were possible to love someone without really knowing them, I would nod my head fervently because this is how I felt about him. The only memories I have with my Lolo are just from the old home videos I've seen of… Continue reading How the people we’ve lost still move through us.
Can’t help but lay here and feel the need to check in with my heart. How are you doing? How are you mending? What is broken and how can I fix it? What part of you is missing and how can I get to know you better? Mom, wife, nurse, graduate student. I’ve taken all… Continue reading Midnight Musing
My first Mother’s Day
I feel so lucky for the life that I have. I woke up to Jayden crawling towards me with a big smile on his face. I slept on the floor of his room and opened my teary eyes distraught from the night before. I had a rough and emotional day the day before Mother's day,… Continue reading My first Mother’s Day
Our Quarantine Routine
I identify strongly with the meme that says “That awkward moment when your everyday life is called ‘self quarantine’” and then there’s a picture of that distraught, guilty looking monkey. There is a weird sense of comfort, but also sadness, thinking about how a majority of Americans and the world for that matter, is experiencing… Continue reading Our Quarantine Routine
I’m a really terrible person to follow and my blogger dreams dwindle every yearly update I write. I’m a mama now. Jayden is 8 months old. I’d say that the last time I posted on here, I was getting ready to transition from maternity leave to going back to work, and that’s what got me.… Continue reading Hello 2020
Finding My Place in Motherhood
Writing this at 1am. Baby is sleeping soundly in his crib to the sounds of ocean waves on the speaker. I wish I could have written a post like this sooner but between finding a moment to rest my eyes and comforting baby close to me, there has really been little time to dedicate myself… Continue reading Finding My Place in Motherhood
how peace finds me
sometimes peace finds me in the places that aren’t so quiet when my fingers are stretched, palms down, holding the weight of what I could have been. the sweat glistens. the music pulsates. when will I let go of the idea of me they implanted in my mind the one that finds no forgiveness in… Continue reading how peace finds me
The day you were born.
It's going to be hard to write this without letting tears fall to my keyboard, but the happiest tears. The kind that bursts from a place of overwhelming love and gratitude, my heart so full that it overflows like steady streams outta my tear ducts. I've waited for this day for what had felt like… Continue reading The day you were born.