how peace finds me

sometimes peace finds me in the places that aren’t so quiet

when my fingers are stretched, palms down, holding the weight of what I could have been.

the sweat glistens. the music pulsates.

when will I let go of the idea of me they implanted in my mind

the one that finds no forgiveness in extra skin

and extra lines

and extra bags or folds that I grab with no remorse to the person inside me screaming

this isn’t love.

there are times where peace finds me even when my body feels like a war zone

I surrender.

I wave my white flag to the voice inside my head that straps me down from limb to limb

the voice that tells me there is a finish line called Happiness if I count my calories right.

I don’t want to fight this fight anymore…

This war between my Before and After picture because no matter the places I’ve been, I will always be me.

They say that is enough.

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